Pretty Little Liars Vintage Recap - My Name Is Trouble

Back again! So Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Emily just about got promised a full scholarship. Wren and Spencer kissed, Wren has a hot British accent. Ezra has an ex fiancee. Ian can text even though he's dead! Garret is talking about 'the Jason thing'? Hmmm. What could that mean? The girls have to spend time apart, and Spencer realises (thanks to Jason) that Ian never directly confessed to killing Alison! :O Someone's been breaking into houses, and Melissa lied about going outside. You can read about the previous episode here.
So the episode begins with the girls talking in the cinema, come on girls, you're never supposed to do that! they chat about Melissa's weird behaviour. Then, oh my goodness, there's a black hooded figure inside the cinema and it's really scary! The film gets burnt! Wait, what? I swear film is not played on a film roll nowadays, well they are watching a black and white film. Do they only show old movies in Rosewood? Anyway, creepy black hoodie points a torch at them, Hanna can't find her other shoe. Black Hoodie Person jumps and........it was a dream. Melissa is looking for her wedding ring because she took it off. Her phone rings and she goes upstairs to talk. Oooh!
OPENING CREDITS
In the Marin household the parents seem to be laughing over coffee. Hanna's dad says he's staying in Rosewood, and Hanna's parents seem to be getting on creepily well. Weird. Hanna asks what was so funny, apparently Hanna's grandmother rearranged furniture, LOL. Not really. Hanna says that her parents suddenly getting along is strange. Ashley says that "things change, people grow."
At school, Emily is in the bathroom and then the girls all come out of the stalls at once BAM! That had sass! Emily shows them the letter saying she might get into Danby. Aria says that she is taking a class at Hollis. Apparently Hanna is still stealing moisturiser. Honestly if some creepy stalker who seems to know all of my secrets and likes to use them against me. I wouldn't keep on stealing, especially after said stalker already had me arrested for it. Come on, Hanna, think.
Yum, Toby! He is dropping off stuff before his GED! Toby got a carpentry job for Jason Dilaurentis. Spencer is not happy. But Toby needs cash to buy tools and a truck. Spencer makes him promise not to go inside the house. Toby promises, they kiss, cuteness.
Hanna sees Lucas and asks him to sit, but it turns out Lucas has to go see Caleb. Haha, Lucas had a shirt saying 'Nerds <3  apple pie' but not the word pie, the maths symbol, and the apple company symbol I just couldn't be bothered finding that on my computer. Hanna asks him to hang out, but Lucas can't. Hanna says she wants to help out with yearbook, Lucas agrees.
Aria and Ezra chat at Hollis, while they drink coffee and hold hands, which they discuss. Jackie sees them kiss! Whoops! Wow, Jackie's scarf and cardigan are dreadful. Aria arrives for her first class and who should be there but JENNA!!!! OH SHIT.
Spencer comes back from field hockey practice and sees someone in the window of Jason's house, but Jason's outside....waaaaaaaaaaaaaat? This is getting more and more complicated.
Spencer tells Emily about what she saw, but Emily thinks maybe she's imagining things. Spencer looks over and sees Jason putting up newspapers on Alison's bedroom window.
Cue Flashback!
Spencer and Emily are having a sleepover when Alison comes and demands she stays over, apparently Jason's party friends are giving her a hard time. She says that she should call her grandma and get Jason written out of the will. As Alison stands by the window, we see some tears! Wow, who knew she had feelings. She takes a bite of an apple, but then..."your family has the worst apples." Hastings family, your apples suck.
Back in the present, Spencer rings Emily and brings up stuff about Jason. In the yearbook offices, Hanna helps Lucas with Danielle, this girl he likes. Well not really, it more just brings out sassy Lucas. Melissa is still looking for her ring, Spencer tells Melissa she is scared to be alone. Spencer brings up some story about how Melissa told some girl to eat a jump rope. What?
Aria discusses Jenna being in her class with Ezra who is in a robe.
Spencer finds Melissa's wedding ring, as Melissa yells at her about coconut water. Ew, coconut water.
Hanna wakes up and her Dad's on the phone arguing with probably Isabel. I like Hanna's outfit. Yes it was Isabel on the phone. Her Dad tells her that things are a little tense between him and Isabel.
Hanna and Aria are in the car with Emily, and Aria tells Hanna that she needs to stay out of her parents business. Emily looks very downcast, she shows them a letter saying that if Emily continues to be Rosewood's MVP and Anchor until the end of the season the University can offer her a full scholarship. But it turns out Emily wrote it, awkward. Hanna gets very excited saying Emily can get her into Harvard. Hanna encourages Emily to send the letter, but Aria says no. Shut up Aria, it means Emily can stay. Emily relents to Hanna, feeling as if there's no other way.
Oh my goodness it's shirtless Toby! He's been working all day! Ah, an episode of Pretty Little Liars is never as good without a dash of shirtless Toby :) Spencer arrives and Jason mistakes her for Melissa. Jason goes to grab a drink. He comes back with bloody rubbish! Oh my god you guys, Jason's a woman and he had his period and he didn't want anybody to find out.
Aria's at her pottery class, she's not very good her spinner is like way out of control. She pretends her name is Anita because Jenna's nearby.
Hanna chats to Danielle, and talks up Lucas, it seems to work. Also Danielle is pretty.
Spencer pawns Melissa's ring, but I think somebody saw!
At school, Lucas talks to Hanna about what she said to Danielle. She wants to grab coffee with him! Hanna apologises again about the incident with Lucas and Sean at the Dance marathon, she repeats he Mum's words "people change, they grow."
Emily licks the envelope, and places it in a book when her Mum comes in with a bunch of old stuff. Her Mum says how hard it must have been for her to hide who she was. It was very heartfelt, Emily's Mum leaves the room and Emily rips up the Danby letter.
Back at Jason's house, Toby (who unfortunately is no longer shirtless) comes out to the front yard and Spencer drives in on the truck he wanted, and gives it to him. Oh my goodness. He says that he loves her, how cute, they kiss. Oh my god Spoby feels!.....Jason is standing on the porch. Creepy.
Hanna comes home to see her parents sitting in the courtyard, drinking wine and laughing. She sees a message from Isabel that arrives on her Dad's phone, apologising for their fight, but Hanna deletes it.
At the pottery class, Jenna asks for 'Anita's' help, Aria is basically a mute. She lights a candle, puts it in the pot and turns off the lights. Wow, that's one bright candle. Jenna gets very emotional about how she used to see light on the water. Sometimes I think the girls don't acknowledge that they blinded this girl. If someone blinded me I would probably go all bitchy on their ass to. Aria gets emotional to, and begins to talk but woops Jenna realises it's her. Oh shit! Jenna tells her to blow out the candle. SCARY!
Spencer is reading in her room when she hears something downstairs, it's Melissa on the phone! Emily gets a letter from Danby University, what?! Oh my goodness, how did that happen? Emily goes through her bin and there's a letter from....A!
You can't play cat and mouse if the mouse moves to Texas.
I need you here Em. Congrats!
- A
Oh no! If I was Emily I never would've considered not moving, I would've jumped at the chance to get away from A.
Back at Spencer's Aria tells Hanna and Spencer about her Jenna encounter and how it was tres awkward. Melissa is going off and about, where is she going? She walks up to a parked car, and it's not Ian in the car, but it's Wren! The sexy British accent is back in the show! Hanna is funny with "Melissa's on drugs?!" When they spot Wren giving her painkillers. Melissa goes through the bag, and we see a shadow from the Dilaurentis window!
Black gloves are handing down money and they take the ring from the pawn shop! Hey, wait, if A just took the ring, what makes it more plausible that Mona owned that ring then Spencer? Weird.
Well that's it! See you next time!

Pretty Little Liars Vintage Recap - The Goodbye Look

Hello! I am Back :)
So Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Spencer was almost thrown off a bell tower by Ian, but then someone in a black hoodie pushed Ian off instead! But Ian's body is missing! A deleted the videos off Emily's hard drive and the girls have to spend some time apart! Emily might move to Texas, Mona ripped up Caleb's letter, and Jason is being mentioned. The girls think Ian is alive because he seems to be texting Melissa! But of course they're the ones reading it. Sometimes I think if they had just left everything alone, their situation would be nowhere near as bad. You can read about the previous episode here.
So we begin where we last lest off in the creepy as hell greenhouse, the girls are discussing what to do, asking a lot of questions and it's all very dramatic. As they leave they're reminded they have to spend time apart, and then we see Jason! But it's a different actor, and the constant "It's JASON!! RIGHT THERE!!" Is to tell us idiots that it's a different guy. But what's he doing back in that house is the question the girls want to know.
OPENING CREDITS
At the Marin household, Hanna doesn't want to avoid her friends, and it turns out Hanna's dad is coming back to town. Question, why is Hanna's Mum still known as Mrs. Marin but they're divorced? Weird. Emily's phone is being restricted, and Emily's mum seems to view it as a 'project'. I think Emily is PMSing because she's being very grouchy. But things get a whole lot worse when she sees her whole hard drive has been erased. I would be so pissed if someone did that because I would lose all my saved movies, TV shows and gifs. She quickly tells Spencer, and how people had been coming in the house all day and her laptop had been sitting there. That's kind of dumb, someone could just take it.
Melissa comes with a sonogram of the baby, and wants her phone in case the police call, fair enough. Not everything is a conspiracy Spencer.
At school, Aria is being kind of pissy with Ezra about him leaving, they play the Ezria dramatic music, you know the one that they always play. Aria and Ezra are going to "taawwwlllkk." That's actually what Ian Harding sounded like when he said that. Mona comes up to talk to Aria and says how Aria knows Mr. Fitz better. Hmmm suspicious? Jokes we already knows its her.
At lunch, the girls are trying to inconspicuously talk, but then they realise they can't sit together much to Hanna's dismay. Omg Spencer put on a bra with padding. Hanna ignores Mona, oooh Hanna, bet you wish you didn't do that in the future. A TEXT FROM MONA, I mean A.
Look at you, all alone in a crowd.
I win!
xoxo - A
Hey it's Toby! He's here to get papers from the office, he's going to get a GED on his own. I don't know what that is. Toby got a job at Rosewood construction, and he wants to move out of his parents house.
Emily wins her swim meet, and Samara wants to hang, but Emily doesn't want to start anything she can't finish, but screw that they have a date. A Danby U scout comes up to talk to Emily and gives her his card. OMG!!! SHE GOT SCOUTED!!!
Well, not really but we're getting there.
At the Hastings household, Melissa is frustrated at the papers, and Spencer has these really yummy looking brownie cake things and I really want one. They're for Jason Dilaurentis, but Melissa and Spencer split one. Melissa says Jason isn't someone you could depend on and gets snappy. Omg I want that cake so bad. I'm going to pause the episode and get cake. Okay, I'm back, I couldn't get cake but I got chocolate.
So now we're back at the Marin house and Hanna's parents are discussing the therapist lady with her. Hanna's parents seem to be getting along a lot better, oooh! Hanna makes a jab about her dad never being in Rosewood, and it turns out her Dad is staying for a few days. Her parents are drinking wine, being a bit flirty. Omg!
Emily is packing up, when her Mum tells her that their the garage has been broken into and some stuff was taken. Emily is also forced to hand over her phone.
Spencer goes to Jason's to bring him the yummy cake, a dog sniffs the garden and Jason yells and throws a paper at it. She gives him the cake, yum I want some. They chat a bit, Spencer tries to get some stuff out of him, she's being rather obvious. I think this actor looks a lot more like Alison than the other guy did. They at least look kind of similar. Jason asks about Ian confessing to killing Ali, and it turns out Ian never directly confessed to killing her. Spencer leaves, or rather is forced to before...
FLASHBACK

Jason is yelling at Alison to stay out of his room, and Alison makes a jab about doorknobs. Alison says that she has hiding places all over the house and the yard, "When I hide something it stays hid, until I want it found. That's why your secrets are all so safe with me." Why is she always bringing up secrets whenever she can I swear this is what it's like:
Anybody: I'm going to the supermarket
Alison: I'll keep that locked away where nobody can find it, like all those other secrets you told me
Anybody: It's not a secret....
Alison: Shhhhhhhh, don't worry, secrets will keep us close.
Like seriously she brings it up anyway she can, one second their talking about Jason's stuff, the next another secrets reference, Jeez Alison, think of a few more topics of conversation.
Back in the present, Spencer leaves the porch of Jason's house, that's it.
Emily swims in slow motion to a song I've never heard, and then we cross over to her talking to the Danby U scout. But he tells her that if she moves that it will be a step down and it will make it hard for her to get a scholarship or get in.
Next scene was oh so sad, Spencer waits in the car and sees Toby get fired :( Poor Toby. Spencer gets really fired up, but Toby wants to talk later. :( So many sad faces :(((((( or a sad face with lots of chins.
Aria is on the phone to Ezra as she waits in his apartment. Wow, haven't seen this situation like 10000 times before. Aria puts back the diploma A stole.
Emily tells her Mum about the scholarship stuff, and how she needs to stay at Danby. Her Mum said that they won't do anything based on one conversation, they need commitment.
Spencer and Aria are talking on the phone and Aria asks her how long she should wait, I think she's talking about sex but it's kind of vague.
Toby arrives at the Hastings, and Aria sits in the chair. If I was her I would be so bored. Ezra texts her asking for her to wait.
Mona leaves a message at the Marin's, and Hanna's Dad comes to talk to her. They talk about how she only sees her Dad when she's in trouble as she unloads the dishwasher. Why do they always look so glamorous even when they're just at home? When I'm at home I just sit around in leggings with horrible looking hair and no makeup. But they traipse around with perfect hair and heels. Oh well, I guess this is television and not real life.
We get a little montage of all the memorabilia in Ezra's apartment that have to do with his relationship with Aria. She waits for freaking ever and then leaves. Jeez if you waited that long you might as well stay.
Emily and Samara are at the movies and Emily says how she'll get to stay in Rosewood. They talk about their first girlfriends, apparently Samara's first girlfriend was called "Manaryanganary." What the fuck is that name? I probably misheard, but that's sure what it sounded like.
Mona and Hanna run into each other at the Grill, and Hanna doesn't like the fact that Mona's going out with Noel. Noal? How have I spelled it in the past? Let's check. Noal. They make up.
Toby and Spencer talk about how Ian is texting Melissa. Toby is so cute, here was the conversation
Spencer: What would you have done?
Toby: Something!
Spencer: What?
Toby: (sheepishly) I don't know
He's so cute. Then he makes weird references about Rosewood being a collective mind creature. They hug and it's cute.
Aria arrives at Spencer's house to see it's been broken into. My god, if a house is dark and nobody replies after you call like heaps of times and it's obviously been broken into why would you stay there? Jesus a lot of the time people on this show a severely lacking in the common sense department.
Spencer is back and Aria is okay besides being a little bumped up, they talk about how more than one house has been broken into, and maybe it wasn't A who broke in but Ian. But what would he want in the house? Aria answers to Spencer "You....?"
Emily tells the scout that she needs a letter, but he can't give her an actual offer, only a maybe letter. Ezra receives his book and makes a speech, mainly directed at Aria, duh. The students are all nice and saying goodbye, Spencer says goodbye to Ezra, yay my crackship!
Aria waits at the lunch table for awhile and then runs in slow motion to the classroom, but Ezra is gone. Then she looks outside the window and it's all of a sudden sunny, more slow mo running and she just jumps and makes out with him in the school car park. Isn't anybody there that could see them? I feel like they always do these scenes with Ezria, like some kind of dramatic slow motion scene but it happens too often to feel significant, it just feels corny.
Spencer arrives home and it's raining just instantly again. Melissa says she never left the house but her raincoat and boots are wet, and the baby sonogram is in the pocket of her coat.
The girls once again meet in the greenhouse, and that it probably was Ian she was going to see. They walk past Jason's house, and see part of the front dug up, he says that he's putting up a fence for privacy and security, and how he wants people to mind their own business. The girls think that maybe he's trying to keep somebody not out but in, ooooohh!!!
As we close, a black glove pats the dog that was hanging by the dug up hole in the garden. AND THAT'S IT!
Well that was fun, I will hopefully have the next recap up by tomorrow!
See you next time for 'My Name Is Trouble' :)